Bloody urine es no bueno!

Pink Lemonade Anyone?

I have urinated blood before. It had a light pink hue to it, but still concerned the shit out of me. Only positive of the situation was that I had a stabbing sensation in my back that progressively got worse, so I was pretty positive I was dealing with a kidney stone. The biggest concern, besides the blood coming out of my urethra, was that this stone was going to want to make an appearance, which would leave me in the worst pain imaginable. It was somewhat funny at first. I didn’t have my contacts in or my glasses on, but I was pretty sure the toilet water looked like pink lemonade. I came out of the bathroom and informed my wife, while on the way to retrieve my glasses that I was probably going to have to go to the hospital. After further inspection, it was certain; I was making a trip to the ER. I got to the ER and was in pretty agonizing pain, actually I was about a 7 out of 10 on the hospital scale. More discomfort than actual pain at that time. They took me back to a room, and after taking a urine sample, this nice lady came in with her friend Demerol. She loaded me up with a dose of this Heaven juice and I morphed into the happiest son of a bitch on the planet. Long story short, 4 hours later when I got home, I didn’t want to go to bed because I was in such a stellar mood. I see why Demerol was one of the King of Pops favorite hobbies.

Mmm, Demerol!

I did the required check up with the Urologist a week later, he informed me that the very tiny stone that had caused me all the discomfort was passed, but I had a stone in my kidney, just hanging out, and it was 3 times bigger than the one I had just dealt with. Being frightened that this stone would do the same as the other, he lined me up to have a surgical procedure known as Lithotripsy. It’s basically lying on a table and having lasers break the stone up so you can pass it in tiny little fragments. I found out the day before the surgery that I was going to have to be put to sleep, which I was not very excited about. I have had a phobia of anesthesia since I was a little guy. They talked me into it and the procedure went really well, all with the exception of waking up completely naked afterwards, sipping a 7-Up and not knowing where I was. They claimed to have taken the robe off of me because I had gotten wet from the water/laser combo. I call bullshit. I think because of my height, the nurse wanted to check out my man meat. There are probably pictures of my unit hanging all over the urologist office, on the Wall of Awesome that is!!

I was inspired on the night of my birthday, Oct 18, to write this blog and share my experience. The family and I all went out to Yamatos, a favorite hibachi restaurant of ours for a long time. As we were waiting, my dad comes out of the bathroom with an odd look on his face. The bathroom was empty and he had gone to one of the two vacant urinals to do his tinkle. As he finishes up, something in the other urinal catches his eye. He glances over and sees thick, red blood all in the urinal and on the floor underneath it. Needless to say, the blood pisser was nowhere in sight. Hopefully, he had exited the restroom and sought help at the nearest hospital. When I heard his story, like a child, I quickly ran into the bathroom to get a glimpse of this crime scene myself. It was exactly what I thought it was going to be, incredible! I just thought to myself how bad I felt for the poor high school kid who had to clean that shit up, what an awful way to make 7.00 an hour. Well, to the busboy that cleaned the bloody show, the ER nurse who calmed this man down and to this man’s pee pee hole, I hope everything is ok now! Men, hopefully you never have to experience a kidney stone. One thing I can assure you though, it is not close to comparable to a woman giving birth. I have been in the OR for my daughter’s birth and can assure you, I would take another kidney stone over what my wife went through any damn day of the week!

Devil Stones

Welcome to the World Bubba

Lil' Hulkster

   On this day, back in 1982, a beautiful baby boy was welcomed into the world. He was the cutest baby that the doctors and staff at the hospital had ever seen. Word spread quickly about this young tyke through the halls of the maternity ward, people declaring, “You just have to go see him, he’s heaven sent!” The hospital was flooded by reporters wanting interviews with the mother of this angel child, who they had since dubbed, “Knee High”, due to the fact that he came out wearing knee high basketball socks and all white Chuck Taylors. After a few days of pandemonium, the hospital seemed to calm down and my mother was able to take me (oh! Did I not mention this story was about my birth? Oops!) home.

               I am not going to go into my complete life story, people don’t want to hear it and I personally don’t want to put it out there. I had an amazing childhood, I absolutely could not have asked for a better upbringing. I grew up in a house where I can never recall my parents even having the tiniest of fights and where family was always the most important thing, no matter what. I never wanted for anything, my parents worked their asses off to provide for my brother and me, and for that I will always be thankful. I feel truly blessed that I got the opportunity to grow up in such a loving household, something I try to bring into my home now that I have a family of my own. I have always said if I could be just half the parent that my mom and dad were, then I am doing a pretty fantastic job. To this day, at 29 years old, I feel the same love from and for my parents that I did when I was just a little guy running around with no shoes or socks on, diaper slam full of fun!

               There is not enough time in the day to go into details about my life from the ages of 19-24; those were labeled my “dark days”. I had what some people might consider a little trouble with drinking, which led to bad decisions and strains on my family life. Bottom line, my parents never left my side, no matter what sort of craziness I had gotten myself into, and for that I will always be thankful. They could have easily left me stranded to handle things on my own, but not once did they ever turn their back on me. I mean shit; I would have left me if I could. Enough about those days, the important thing is that I am here, alive and well, able to celebrate my birthday with the people I love most in life.

My Girls :)

               This will be the first birthday that I get to spend with my princess, Gabriella. It means the world to me, even though she has no idea of what a birthday is yet, just her being there will be so memorable. Today, I am able to say that I could not be any happier in life. I have the most loving wife who puts up with my shit on a daily basis, two beautiful children and a family full of people that love me. Mom and Dad, thank you for everything you have done for me in life, I would be nowhere without the love and support you have provided over the years. Cody, I could not ask for a better brother to share life with and watch grow up. You will be so successful one day and I look forward to getting to watch it happen. Your love for my daughter means more than you will ever know. Hope, what can I say, you are my foundation. Without you, I would be completely lost, going nowhere at a rapid pace. Life with you is amazing; I could not imagine a more perfect life than the one we live together. You have blessed me with the most beautiful little girl I have ever laid eyes on, a little mini version of you (that could be trouble J ). I love you more than you will ever know, thank you for all of your support and love that you continue to provide to me every day. I look forward to what the future has in store for us; it will be nothing short of amazing.

My Love

             Almost 30, I better enjoy this last year in my 20’s, I’m getting OLD!

Criminal Swagger

               I had the pleasure of going to court yesterday. This asshole that owes us 9k dollars decided he wanted to plead guilty and get the money he owes us paid back. Well, long story short, this church going criminal decided he wanted a jury trial. The judge notified him that since he has admitted to owing us the money, and even paid 2k of it back, that a jury trial wasn’t the direction he really wanted to go, since ultimately they are going to find him guilty and probably hand down an all-expenses paid trip to the state penitentiary. On top of that, he will have to pay our company the money he owes, so his legal game really needs some help.

Dad?

               I have become emotionless over the last 3 or 4 years when it comes to my dad, who is also my boss, having to take people to court, send them to jail, take their belongings, or use any other tactics necessary to get us paid. I used to have this soft spot for people and actually felt sorry for them, even those who owed us money to the tune of 80-100k dollars. I’ve seen peoples businesses go under; people lose their home/cars/boats and unfortunately had to hear of two of our customers actually taking their own lives because of their financial situations. Over the years I have become numb to those feelings when it comes to the deadbeats that try and fuck my father over. I don't take it lightly when these situations present themselves. It really is nothing personal (usually), it is strictly all business. My father has a business to run, and I hope one day to follow in his footsteps and possibly run this company myself after he retires (he’s pretty old, I’m thinking next year is my time!..lol). I have learned that there is no room for a soft spot in your heart when it comes to dealing with people who will go to any length to completely shit on you. The lies are never ending and the stories they come up with are borderline comical. Either way, we will go to any length necessary to make sure that you learn, you will not fuck us over and go about your business. “I can’t pay my mortgage, my truck got repossessed, I can’t pay my guys”…blah, blah, blah. It all boils down to the old mob mentality “Fuck you, pay me!”. If we felt sorry for every deadbeat story we have heard, we would not exist as a company.  Bottom line is that my father has to provide for his family as well, letting people get away with stealing money from us affects his ability to do so.  That’s why he doesn’t let that happen. People, the man is good at what he does damnit!

                                                                 Quit your bullshit!!

Mr. Inapropiate

Angel Hair Pasta

            First and foremost, I am the undisputed king of random. Stealing a quote from my brother in law, I feel that there are two types of people in this world. People that find me funny and people with no sense of humor what so ever. I always feel sad for a person with no sense of humor. It would be a terrible way to go through life, all serious and uptight. Laughter is truly a beautiful thing.

Donkey Butt!

            I’m right around 98% sure that there are quite a few people out there that find my sense of humor completely fucked up. I was blessed with my father’s sense of humor, which I wouldn’t have any other way. A longtime family friend told me the other day, in reference to a status I had posted on Facebook, “You know Bubba, the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree!”. I took that as a huge compliment. My father has always been known for his crazy sense of humor, so for me to be able to follow in his tracks and keep the funny alive is a great feat. My wife appreciates my sense of humor, not many women could deal with me on a full time basis. I love it about her, that she simply “gets me” and appreciates my borderline inappropriate, sometimes offensive remarks. Nothing I say or write, whether in a blog, on Facebook or on Twitter is ever meant to hurt anybody’s feelings. I have a giant heart and could quite possibly be one of the most sensitive men on the planet. Frankly, I just don’t really bite my tongue when it comes to something I feel like commenting on. I tend to take things right to the edge of appropriate, and instead of toeing the line, I go ahead and step right over it. I would never in a million years mean to hurt anyone’s feelings. I would be highly upset with myself if a comment or statement of mine did so. I am more in for that shock value, saying things people think, but don’t have the guts to say themselves. As stated in the classic early 90’s jam “Donkey Butt”, there ain’t no shame in my game. I want people to read my writing and get a good laugh out of it. I get somewhat of a high when people that I have never met, but have read my blog, tell me that they find my posts completely hilarious. We all have days where we could use a good laugh, and I intend to try and provide those laughs for as long as I possibly can (basically until my princess gets old enough to read..lol). I guess after that, I will have to go incognito and write under an alias of some sort. Maybe I will go by White Thunder? Who knows, I have a few years to come up with that one.

 Stephen Epton

Favorite Movie Quotes : Vol 1

Some of my favorite movie quotes : Vol. 1

“Big gulps eh!” - Lloyd Christmas (Dumb & Dumber)

“Do I look like a bitch?...Then why you try to fuck me like a bitch?” - Jules Winnfield (Pulp Fiction)

“As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a gangster.” - Henry Hill (Goodfellas)

“That ain't a boy! Its a tiny little MAN!!! And hes got knives!!” - Ken Hutchinson (Starsky & Hutch)

“Yea Harry, what if they had shot you in the face?” - Lloyd Christmas (Dumb & Dumber)

“That was just a chance we were willing to take.” - Cop in reference to above (Dumb & Dumber)

“Did you carve up any ice....with your weiner??” - Chazz Michael Michaels (Blades of Glory)

“In my dreams your blowin me......kisses!” - Dewey Cox (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story)

"We are talkin' alot of corn dogs!" - Jackie Moon (Semi-Pro)  

 "Look, I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never  fornicated anybody!"  - Willie (Bad Santa)

"This is Grade A 100% pure Colombian cocaine, ladies and gentlemen... Disco shit... Pure as the driven snow." - George Jung (Blow)

"Well, who the fuck is going to blow the donkey?" - Jay (Clerks 2)

 "So Eddie, you been crushin' any pussy lately?" - Jerry Stiller..Doc (The Heartbreak Kid)

This is a very short list of some of my all time memorable movie quotes. I will keep adding to the collection when I am in the mood. I have a huge passion for movies, especially ones that make me laugh. If you don't laugh at a few of these quotes, then unfortunately we don't share the same twisted sense of humor. I'm sorry. For you.

Kissing Strippers On The Mouth

How Could One Resist?

  I have a new found love for Oreo Cakesters. These delicious little snack cakes rank right on top of my list of all time most delectable treats. I find myself usually eyeing them down after a round of golf, as we make the pit stop in the gas station to get something to snack on for the car ride home. Do I get one pack, or two? Three cakesters, or six? Why does life have to be so full of tough decisions? Now, every once in a while the decision is made for me, when I see that glorious advertisement "Two for $3.00"! Go ahead and stick a fork in me, IM DONE!

This brings me to my topic. Men fall victim to this atrocious happening every night. Myrtle Beach is known for quite a few things. First thing, golf. Secondly, the wide variety of "shoe shows" along the vast metropolis that is Horry County. 14.6 million visitors flock to Myrtle Beach every year, 14.5 million of them will enter a strip club. Its a fact, I read it on Wikipedia. Here is the situation. You are down visiting the Grand Strand with some buddies on a golf outing. You have been on the golf course all day, sticking to a strict diet of Coors Light and Three Musketeers. You wrap up the horrendous round of golf and go back to the condo to "powder up". After happy hour at a waterfront locale, you make the move to one of Myrtle Beach's many skanky stripper dwellings. Pour Some Sugar On Me is vibrating through the speakers, the lint on your favorite polo is shining from the black light and Anastasia has cuddled up in your lap for the last few songs, trying to talk you into a more "private" setting for the two of you to get to know each other. That 11th kamikaze shot has talked you into giving in, your heading to the Champagne Room baby! Two hundred dollars later, your thinking this girl really does like you. For some reason, yet to be found out, you desire to take the relationship to another level. R. Kellys "Bump N Grind" comes on and you just feel it in your..............heart, that its time to make that move. "I don't see nothing wroooong, with a little bump n gri..." BAM, you kiss her on the mouth! Thoughts go thru your head at a rapid pace! "What the hell was I thinking", "Is that going to cost me more money", "Are they going to make me leave now?". In all reality, and I know its just because of the alcohol, you should really be thinking, "Why in God's name did I just kiss this petri dish full of bacteria and semen?" Yes, semen! Sexual acts do occur in the champagne room, from what I am told by a group of now distant researchers. You will wake up the next morning, smelling like cocoa butter and cigarettes, and for your entire trip home, you will completely hate yourself. Not because you spent your kids college money on Beaver Bucks and cheap champagne, but because you broke one of the many cardinal rules of Strip Clubbery. Never, under any circumstance, swap any sort of fluids with a "lady of the night"! I have come to this conclusion, its more ok to kiss your sister on the mouth, than it is to kiss a stripper on the mouth. Bottom line! Below is an example of why you do not want to kiss anyone but your wife on the mouth, I'm sorry!

Don't Let This Be You!

Tough act to follow!

 There are people with talent, then there are superstars. These two jeopardy champions, without a doubt, fall directly into the superstar category. This isn't really a blog, just a web gem I ran across years ago and thought of tonight in the shower for some reason. Any who, enjoy the wonderfulness that is foreign TV. 

And now she crafts too...

Lighted glass cube, by Hope Epton

Now, for all of you old school hip hop fans, I am not talking about Beastie Boys kinda "crafty". I'm talking Waccamaw Pottery, AC Moore, Michaels, I am going to take this ribbon and glass cube and make something bad ass kinda crafty! "I need a strand of colored lights, stat!"

 When I married this woman, I would have never guessed that within two years, she would be an exact replica of my mother. The phrase "you will wind up marrying someone like your mother", could not be more true in my case.  My mother, plus my wife in a craft store = our kitchen table turning into Epton Craft Corner. The smell of hot glue, paint and wooden trinkets has become a familiarity in our home. It brings back vivid childhood memories of my mother dragging me to Waccamaw Pottery on the weekends, that distinct "crafty" smell lingering throughout the entire store. That place was a nightmare for kids. Have you ever seen how big those damn stores are?? They have entire aisles dedicated to nothing but fake glue-on eyeballs! Every year, its reported that thousands of children go missing from craft stores, never to be found again. Its true, check the facts.

Witchy Door Hanger, By Hope Epton

It really has been something to witness, my wife turning into my mother right before my very own eyes. My mother has always been a very very very very big "decorate for every holiday" type of person. Not the Dollar Store strand of Santa heads or the popsicle sticks on the bottom of the Easter Bunny head that you see strewn about some peoples yards. I am talking, full on Southern Living, handmade, hit every tiny "cute" shop in the south east and stockpile an inventory of decorations that take hours upon hours to put out. Its serious business people. And this my friends, is what my wife is slowly growing into. The Witch Sign (pictured to the left) was my lovely brides first "project". It turned out great. Now, it turning out great means one thing. BRING ON THE NEXT CRAFT PROJECT!! My wife finds something that she enjoys, and is damn good at, then its game time from that point on. The only downside to our decoration collection growing every year, is that we don't have the room for it. My wife has already mentioned, "In the new house, we need a hell of a lot of storage!". This addition to our storage capacity will mean that eventually, my wife can be on my mother's level of decoration insanity. I love that my wife has found this crafty side. The look of satisfaction on her face when she finished her witch hanger for the door brought me great joy. It really did turn out great. I know that in the years to come, there will be a third person sitting at the dining room table, assembling some sort of decoration or project, my little princess. It is inevitable that my wife will introduce her to this new hobby of hers as soon as she possibly can. I think it will be great, all the women in my life, sitting around the table, glitter all over the place, glue everywhere and that "crafty" smell, which I know oh so well, lingering in the air. Ahh, breathe it in.






                              

What Were They Thinking Wednesdays!

I would have to say the most "WTF" thing about this video would be those sweet shorts he has on. Who wears short green cotton shorts?? Since he most likely is not going to make it as a pro BMX rider, he could always look into a career in the stunt man field, cuz big boy knows how to take a fall!

What is he talking about??

What?

Stephen Epton

Blank Slate

Open Mind

Open Pockets

Oh so Kind

Heidi Fleiss

Rock of Ages

New Jack City

Bible Pages

One thought

Right Now

Here or there

Take a Bow

Never Quit

Don't Stop

Always thinking

HiP HoP

A million a minute

One per DaY

Never Again

Try not to say

What the hell

All this blabbin'

Makes no sense

Jaw jackin'

Time to stop

Quit talkin'

Take a breath

Keep on walkin'

End It Here

Right this Minute

Ive said all I want

I'm done, FINISHED!

END

Biggie Smalls - Lyrical Genius

Just a small list of some of the greatest MC of all time's notable lyrics :

"I was a terror since the public school era/ Bathroom passes, cutting classes, squeezing a--es"
--'Party & Bulls---'

"Your moms will set that a-- up/ Properly gassed up/ Hoodied and masked up/ For that fast buck/ She'll be laying in the kitchen to light that a-- up"
--'Ten Crack Commandments'

"N----s wanna creep gotta watch my back/ Think the Cognac and Indo sack make me slack"
--'Who Shot Ya'

"Because the streets is a short stop/ Either you're slingin' crack rock or you got a wicked jumpshot"
--'Things Done Changed'

"Money and blood don't mix like 2 d---s with no chick/ Find yourself in serious s---"
--'Ten Crack Commandments'

"Tote steel like Bronson, vigilante/ You wanna get on son, you need to ask me"
--'Kick In the Door'

"I made the change from a common thief/ To up close and personal with Robin Leach"
--'Juicy'

"Also known as the bon appetit/ Rappers can't sleep need sleepin'/ Big keep creepin'/ Bullets heat seekin'/ Casualties need treatin'/ Dumb rappers need teachin'"
--'Unbelievable'

"Laugh now cry later, I rhyme greater/ Than the average playa hater, and spectators/ Buy my CD twice, they see me in the streets, They be like, 'Yo, he nice'/ But that's on the low doe"
--'Long Kiss Goodnight' 

Every time I turn the radio on these days, this garbage that they refer to as music reminds me of how much I truly miss the greatest MC to ever grace this planet. There are still a few greats left (Em, Jay-Z, Nas), just unfortunately surrounded by a bunch of clowns (Lil Wayne, Drake, Waka Flocka, good lord I could go on for days with the "shit list"). Positive of all this stupidity produced today is that no matter what, Earphones + Macbook + Youtube = endless playlist of the classics!

Its Friday Fun Fact Time!

Fun Fact Fridays!

All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village".

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the
back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe.

The maximum weight for a golf ball is 1.62 oz.

Charlie Brown's father was a barber.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously

Of the six men who made up the Three Stooges, three of them were real brothers (Moe, Curly and Shemp.)

Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

In Mel Brooks' 'Silent Movie,' mime Marcel Marceau is the only person who has a speaking role.

Pulp Fiction cost $8 million to make - $5 million going to actor's salaries.

A full seven percent of the entire Irish barley crop goes to the production of Guinness beer.

Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A."

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

Deborah Winger did the voice of E.T.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on watch is 10:10.

Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.

Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.

Betsy Ross was born with a fully formed set of teeth.

The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.                        

Bob Dylan's real name is Robert Zimmerman.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life"

A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The
frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's
mouth. Then the frog uses it's forearms to dig out all of the stomach's
contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.

Bingo is the name of the dog on the Cracker Jack box.

Charles de Gaulle's final words were, "It hurts."

ABBA got their name by taking the first letter from each of their first names (Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny, Anni-frid.)

The Beatles song "Dear Prudence" was written about Mia Farrow's sister, Prudence, when she wouldn't come out and play with Mia and the Beatles at a religious retreat in India.

Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? It's Paul Reiser himself..

Kelsey Grammar sings and plays the piano for the theme song of
Fraiser.

The male gypsy moth can "smell" the virgin female gypsy moth from 1.8
miles away.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.

Alexander the Great was an epileptic.

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz."

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't.

Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

Hugh "Ward Cleaver" Beaumont was an ordained minister.

John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

The average garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head.

Certain frogs can be frozen solid then thawed, and continue living.

Dartboards are made out of horsehairs.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox.

Virgina Woolf wrote all her books standing.

To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.

The only planet without a ring is earth.

Wayne's World was filmed in two weeks.

A group of unicorns is called a blessing.

Carrying A Firearm: Against or All For?

A little something I put together after I received my Concealed Carry Permit. I am a firm believer, especially now that my little Gabriella is here, that it is a must to be prepared for any situation. I can only pray that I never have to be involved in a situation where presenting a firearm becomes necessary, but if that day comes, I will be 100% ready to protect my family. I hope you don't judge me for my beliefs because I certainly don't judge people on what they believe in. I am also very far from "that guy" who thinks everyone is out to get him or harm his family, I simply like to consider myself "ready".

Bad Decisions

Stephen Epton

Quit that, stop it, don't move, drop it

I ask of you nicely, I don't want to get violent

Enemies, strangers, dangers, fear

I won't hesitate to react if my family you come near

My family is priceless, you mean nothing to me

You don't want to turn this into something, you should definitely agree

Go ahead and jump, I double dog dare you

No chance for you to scream so that someone can hear you

Decisions are made, each and everyday

I carry a Glock, you carry a blade

Glock 19, pull trigger go boom

Like a deafening explosion, in a tiny room

That shot you heard, that one was your maker

Go on and meet him, hes accepting all takers

Your poor decision, has led to your last

All that precious life, gone and passed

I didn't want to do it, my heart too big

But you left me no choice, now your grave they dig

Put my family in danger, your life you risk

I had no options, you asked for this

An uncle, a son, a cousin a dad

Maybe all the above, oh so sad

It was our lives or yours, it happened so quick

Now the minds cluttered, thoughts so thick

Why did you choose us, we were doing fine

Minding our business, but you wanted what was mine

But you can't have it, I guarantee that

So a statistic you become, just another fact

We, as citizens, have the right to bear arms. Some people may feel that its outrageous or insane to carry a firearm into a public environment. But what happens when you are presented with a situation that involves your loved ones and their safety? Are you going to be ready? Will you do like the movies and hit the “bad guy” with your purse or handbag? Maybe so, but after you make him more angry with silly self defense, there is no telling what he may be prepared to do to you and your family. I'm not saying that you should stock up on ammo and have firearms all over your home, getting ready for the end of the world to come. I'm simply saying that you should take the time to get proper training, and exercise your rights as a citizen of the United Sates of America to properly protect what is most valuable to you in your life, your family. The world has unfortunately seemed to worsen since I was a little guy. It seems like every time the news is on, some one is getting robbed in broad daylight, some soccer dad is robbing a bank, a home invasion is taking place or someone is getting murdered. Precaution is a must in today's society. Not precaution as in assault rifles and bulletproof vests. Precaution as in taking in account your surroundings, thinking ahead of time when going somewhere as far as the time of day and if your by yourself or not. I think having a child of my own has definitely put things into perspective. Quick story, I went down to Ocean Blvd to be with my wife on the day of her 9/11 tribute run. It was me and my daughter, who is only 9 months old. I was approached by a homeless man, who admitted to having a drug habit. He "stepped over the line" in my book when he made a comment regarding my daughter. "I could pick her up and kiss her all over". Long story short, he left w/o any situation arising. I also left a few hours later, alone with the baby to walk back to the car, which was 4 or 5 blocks away. Just what if, this man had approached me with the intent to do harm as I am walking back to my car. If he were to get the best of me, then my innocent daughter is left alone w/ this vagrant to do whatever he feels  up to. But! I have a concealed weapons permit, which allows me to carry a firearm on my person. So the situation is now a complete 180 degrees if I have means of protecting myself and my daughter. The law states that if you are in a situation where another individual approaches you with intent to cause great bodily harm, you have every right to protect yourself by any means necessary!

Bottom line, my family will not become a statistic!

How bout some relief?

Could someone please phone Jesus and ask him where the cooler weather is? I don't think I have ever been more ready for cooler weather in my entire life. The humidity, the sweat, the miserable rounds of golf. I just want it to go away! It seems like Myrtle Beach has been experiencing two seasons over the last few years. 1. Real damn hot! 2. Real damn cold! Its not like when I lived in Greenville and that beautiful season they refer to as Fall rolls around, and it just makes everything you do that much more pleasant. The leaves turn pretty colors, the air smells crisp. Nope, not here. One day its 105 with the heat index and the next morning you wake up there is frost on the windows. I've never really had the pleasure of dealing with snow, but I swear, every year right around July, I tell myself and others around me that I want to move to the town they filmed Groundhog Day in. A little town where you walk everywhere and that gets covered in blankets of snow. Then it will snow a little here around December or January and I will never want to see snow again. I guess its all just one mean bitch of a cycle. Well, if anyone gets in touch with Jesus about the cooler weather, tell him I love him and if he wants to throw a little luck in the form of a winning scratch off ticket or something, I wouldn't be mad at that at all!

Motivational Video Of The Day

I came across this video a week or so ago, its Coach John Flowers giving a pregame speech to his football squad. It will give you goosebumps and leave you feeling like you want to go out and conquer the world. Its amazing the strength and confidence you can receive through another persons words.

    WHO AM I? 

I AM A CHAMPION!!!!

                  

Well, its not all she does :)

    The secret is out, my wife......runs. Yea, I know, crazy huh? Me personally, I don't run. (Unless being pursued by an angry mob of people who are mad at me for stealing their town's last Fruit Punch Capri Sun!) It was one of those crazy two o'clock in the afternoon power nap dreams. Your guess is as good as mine.

     Back to my wife's running. We are not talking Forrest Gump "If I was going somewhere, I was Ruuunning" here. She is more into the fitness aspect of the running lifestyle. Lately, it is pretty common around the Epton household for my wife to start a question towards me out with "So! What do you think about.....". The blank could be filled in with various things such as: "me running in this Myrtle Beach 1/2 marathon", "me doing the Disney Princess race", "me flying to Kenya to train with one of those little dark men". Ok, I made that up, there is no Myrtle beach 1/2 marathon, lol. I stand by my wife one hundred and ten percent in all of her adventures. She has more on her plate than the average person for sure, and yet she manages to achieve every darn thing she sets out to do. And more importantly, in all of her over achieving adventures, she still manages her time so that she can be the best mother and most incredible wife a man could ask for. Her priority list has always been the same, no matter what sort of craziness she has going on outside of our home.
                 

Hope Eptons Priority List

1. Family

2. Career/School

3. Stephens Hot Lovin' (I know, this should be one, I agree!)

3. Adventures (Beachbody, racing, training etc..)

  The fact that she has never let anything get in the way of our family keeps me motivated to keep her motivated! (That make sense?) Hope loves challenges, thats a fact!

 

Hope Vs. The World

 Hope has encouraged me to express my feelings and views on different topics via a "blog". She purchased this sweet domain name "mywiferuns.com" and I intend to let my creative juices flow. I have always enjoyed writing and what more perfect way then to get on the train and blog! Not all of my writings will relate to "my wife running", I am a pretty random guy, so most of them will be pretty random indeed. This is my first attempt, hopefully it goes well and I can entertain a few people in the process!